If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize