If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
