Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
