...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
