Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
