This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize