I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
