i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize