I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
