To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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