There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize