I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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