Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
