we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
