He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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