I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
