Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
