everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize