i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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