When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want nice things and good sex
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
