This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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