I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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