What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this just has baby written all over it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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