my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize