So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
