I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
