I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
