when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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