i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
