he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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