I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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