How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just cropdusted the office
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
