I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Girls should come with a carfax report
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
