that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
