I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize