Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
