would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
