We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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