I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize