it hurts more in the daytime
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Enjoy the penises
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
