Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize