I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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