you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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