There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
