we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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