Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just took my morning after pill in the library
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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