fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
