i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
