I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
