you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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