Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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