Just cropdusted the office
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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