the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
